The pale skin, the bad hair, the clothing being about a century out of fashion - you've got some problems. And, even if you're more accepted in today's society, those problems at a little hard to get past if you don't approach it right. You've made the decision: it's time for a makeover.
Let's try not to screw it up, huh?
The thing that you probably have the biggest problem with (besides some obvious problems mentioned below) is going to be your wardrobe. You've been out of circulation for a while, not quite up on the game. It's understandable, until recently you would have been stoned or burned at the stake for showing up in public. But the times are a changing, so should your wardrobe.
DON'T: think "retro" applies to everything old
If your date's grandfather would have been wearing your clothes, you may have some chance at them being fond of the retro look and thinking that you're just being stylish, especially with the vampire culture crossing over with goths from time to time.
But if your clothes look like something that their great grandfather might have worn, or their great great grandfather, you've gone too far. And further? Don't even ask. Put it away, you're not a pirate.
DO: try to appear casual
You're trying to look normal, so how about going to a normal store? Find something comfortable, something that they wont think looks too awkward and just try to be yourself.
But you need to be careful, try not to wear any clothes with colors that might wash you out (more than you already are). Darker colors give you some contrast, which is always a plus, but lighter clothes may look a little odd.
We're all painfully aware that you don't get a whole lot of sun. When you go out, you could practically disappear against whitewall. And while being that fair skinned isn't necessarily a bad thing, it doesn't exactly look healthy, especially since you have all the curves of a piece of broken glass.
DON'T: Go for the spray tans.
Since you can't get out for a day in the sun like other people, some people would consider alternatives to get that healthy glow. Makeup, tanning booths and spray-tans are all relatively common. Unfortunately, for someone like you, the amount of makeup required would be absurd and tanning booths come with some health concerns you should be wary of.
Of course, this leaves the spray-on tan. There's a lot of methods for it, the spray booths, the tan in a can, some that you rub on. But in the end, one thing is common between all these methods: They will not look natural on you.
In fact, given your natural tone, by the time you reach anything resembling an actual color you might as well just start bar hopping the 10 blocks around the nearest chocolate factory.
DO: be proud of what you've got.
Pale skin is in! Turn on the TV, find some of your kind and realize that they're all flaunting their natural alabaster tone! And it really works for just about everyone!
And look at them, they're all working it for all they're worth! You can do it too after adjusting a few other parts of your style. First, let's worry about the face, and that means proper framing and drawing attention away from what could be a rather interesting skull shape. For that, we need to focus on...
Your hair, it has some problems. Look in the mirror, when's the last time you had it styled? Was the barber that did it also your surgeon? Did the pole outside have bloody rags wrapped around it? It may be time to update.
DON'T: blindly follow the fads
One of the things that's really gotten popular among people like you is to follow the person who started the recent swell of popularity for your people. I mean, how can you not? He's made your lifestyle trendy for people who would have condemned you before.
But, let's be honest, even if some people think the hair works for him (and not everyone does), while you may think you look like this:
You probably look more like this:
Hell, his hair doesn't even work for him most of the time.
DO: find something appropriate for your bone structure
What you do with your hair, in the end, is important only because of what it does or doesn't do for the general area around your head. Or, to make it easier to understand, you need to make sure it fits the shape of your head.
Experiment with the hair until you've achieved a look that works for you. You may even want to try some colors, though beware, some brighter colors will look a bit strange with your skin tone, so take care not to go too extreme with it.
And, for the love of god, wash it.
This part is probably on your mind a lot. You're worried they're going to be upset about your teeth. It's a valid concern, though some would say that it could be worked past. One thing that you'll definitely want to be certain of is that you do not do anything with your teeth that you, or your date, are uncomfortable with.
DON'T: Sharpen them
This really doesn't require too much explanation. Just say no.
DO: make them look nice
There are a lot of methods to making this work. Many of the dental products out there for the average person will probably do you some good, whitening will make even the most intimidating smile look lovely.
And, as a final note on the subject, if you can afford it and you're unsure if you're confident enough to smile in public.
Consider dental bonding!
Next time, dating tips! This article is brought to you by Alters United in an effort to promot Alter/human unity. If you liked this article, please show your support, buy my book or promise not to be involved in the eventual race war between the various human subspecies.