Friday, May 27, 2011

How To Satisfy The Midnight Munchies

It’s late at night, you’ve had a rough day, the neighbors keep giving you crap and you just need to forget your problems. You do what you can to try to block out the rest of the world, but something serious happens. You’ve got the midnight munchies.

What can you possibly do? If you went out to eat what you want you’d probably have the cops on your ass. Surely, there has to be alternatives.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Alterpedia - Zombies

As a service to the community (and a little bit of shameless plugging for my book here) I feel it necessary to educate the populace about those persecuted souls that happen to be something other than human. For knowledge is power and I like to pretend I'm powerful.


The term Zombie originally meant someone cursed with a mind-control spell which made them shuffling, mindless drones that took their master’s every command. Over time this definition has fallen out of use (to be taken up by Palin supporters) and the more common definition has come into use. Despite using the Haitian name, the concept of walking corpses is a worldwide phenomenon, this was thought to be due to a common fear of death and the occasional corpse being dug up by canines (sometimes by the individuals mentioned two posts back.)

They were wrong.

But, given the vast waves of undead folklore, it’d be hard to weed out myth from reality if we focused on all of those. Instead, we’ll focus on the most commonly known depiction of these complex and thought provoking figures.

Friday, May 13, 2011

How To Deal With Your Monthly Transformation In 5 Easy Steps

So you’ve been watching the calendar all month and you’ve looked up to realize that the dreaded day has arrived. You’re already starting to feel it and you know you’ve been a little grumpier and, let’s face it, people are starting to avoid you. It’s time for your monthly visit from the rabid man-eating beast within.

So how do you deal with it? You can’t change who you are, it’s just biology. But you know that whenever you’re really left to your own devices you’re going to go and scalp the nearest mouth-breather to dare offend you. How do you keep yourself from carrying out righteous vigilante justice against the masses during this, the worst time of your month?

Monday, May 9, 2011

Alterpedia - Werewolves

As a service to the community (and a little bit of shameless plugging for my book here) I feel it necessary to educated the populace about those persecuted souls that happen to be something other than human. For knowledge is power and I like to pretend I'm powerful.


Long has man been concerned with the concept of people being able to transform into animals. These creatures have been seen throughout history in depictions of tall and dark attackers pouncing on helpless women in...



And Literature

These depictions are often inaccurate, filled with myths, hearsay and teenage wet dreams. However, the truth behind the creatures is not far from the majority of these portrayals.

Having a reactive A-type Cell, were-creatures, what are officially known as "Metamorphs", have a tendency to undergo partial or total transformation according to external stimuli. However these changes are slightly different both in nature and cause from that of standard belief. Some examples of these changes are listed below.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Into the Breach!

Okay, so, I did something impulsive and went and self published my book via this thing called...electronic devices. Yes! Electronics, the wave of the future!

I swear I'm not panicking.

Please buy my book

Click here to be my very special friend.

I am what I am: religious edition: conclusion

So there you have it, I've laid out what I believe. Though, really, it's not what I believe, it's what I know. I know the things I've talked about here happened, I can prove it to myself and to others. I don't know what exactly triggered the start of the universe, but I do know that it's not something described in any of the religious texts that exist today. Regardless of what religion you are, it's not my cup of tea. And yeah, some people may be worried for my "soul" or my mental well-being. But I'm not.

No religion out there can really claim to be absolutely sure they're right. They all try to, of course, but when you consider how many religions there are out there and how many variations there are you start to wonder just what exactly would be the deciding factor in not blowing it. After all, look at the schism in just Christianity.

And most of the times its a matter of wording and translation. So most of what people believe in is not based in an actual infallible word because...why would they argue about it? But you can't really convince people otherwise because, well, the book tells them it's telling the truth.

And in the end, regardless of what your belief system is, there's really only one sure-fire way to live a good life: Don't be a douche-bag. Whether you think you'll get an eternal reward or that it'll make life a lot easier during this one beautiful moment of time, your best bet for a good life is to not make other people miserable. And, if you're not an asshole, you can't go wrong regardless of whether your opinions and beliefs are right or wrong.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

I am what I am: religious edition: cosmology

So then, I've admitted I believe in Evolution. So the obvious conclusion from most people I know (but not most people reading this) is "So that means you believe the whole universe started from nothing?"

Well, no. But I do believe there was a big bang.

The rapid expansion of the universe from a chaotic beginning is assured. The question now is what set it off, not whether or not it happened. That's a pretty bold statement to some, I'm sure, but it's not one that I take lightly. It's not that I'm speaking of this out of simple faith but rather out of simple observation. We look into the sky every night and we see stars and galaxies that are so far away from us that we could not see them if the universe wasn't extremely old already. Light travels at a constant and these things are far far away. To put this into perspective, this picture takes up a space in the sky that could be covered by your finger.

I am what I am: religious edition: evolution

So, inevitably when you make the statement I made in the last post you get the same question: "So you believe in evolution?"

Yes, yes I do.

I am what I am: religious edition: introduction

A couple days ago I put the finishing touches to my manuscript, attached a cover and published my works to e-reader markets. In the process of doing it, I happened to put in a dedication to the people who really pressed the creation of my story the most. One of them was thanked for provoking me into debates. That woman passed away a couple years ago and I find myself thinking about her right now and realizing I need to address this topic.

It's time to talk about God.

This is a post that's been coming for a while. Back around New Years I was invited by a religious blogger to come and follow him on his sermons. I did not respond positively to this. Mind you, I'm not against religious people, but I have a history with being preached to that makes it apparent the poor man didn't realize who he was talking to.